I know you see this same shiz on your newsfeed,
“Dear car,
why are you such a piece of crap and won’t start? is it because I neglected to turn off the interior light and haven’t fed you oil in almost 2 years? Whichever it is, I am sorry!
-sincerely,
I am annoying”
What the fuck. Facebook status’ are not your diary. And why are you writing a journal entry to a non-human and blasting it to your facebook friends? And if you are actually writing to a human, why don’t you write on their facebook wall or private message them? That’s besides the point….why are you writing it like it is a heartfelt letter going off into the mail? You look dumb. If you want to write long bullshit that no one cares about, write a blog! Or get a livejournal! (remember those?) That’s what I did, silly! Which is why you are reading this, because you are bored and want to read my nonsense.
how about this one:
“Fukk yu babii daddii Your worthLeSs! I new u waz up 2no goOd i hoep yur azz goose t0 jailL”
next day:
“I luvv u sO mucH (insert babbii daddii name here) yu have made mi life worth livin <3″
Wait, what? First of all, learn how to motherfuckin’ type, and use spellcheck, bitch. Get your personal crap off facebook. No one needs to know about your fucking drama. Also, as much as I find these status’ annoying, I cannot muster up the courage to delete you. You make me giggle, and make me feel so smart. Once again, write a blog, livejournal, or….write out your shit! (remember writing in a diary/journal?)
Anyways, keep up the good work.
*I owned a Talkback Dear Diary and it’s still in my nightstand. I wonder what crap I wrote in there, now if I could only remember my secret passcode…
