Ahh the single life. Its a love hate thing, but mostly hate. Don’t even go there with the, “but you’re so pretty, how are you single?” Or the “don’t obsess over it, it will happen” I’m not obsessed you dickhole, I’m just not trying to be single forever (its been a year and a half so relax killa) and I don’t want to grow up to be a cat lady; I’m allergic.
Anyways, dating is fun in that you can meet new people, get free drinks and grilled chicken; but then when you actually meet someone you like and then all of a sudden he has fuckboy symptoms out of nowhere?! The absolute worst. Its a worse situation than a closet ho ho.
1. He is already talking about getting it in already. Dude, calm down. Why are you talking about having sex? We went on like 1-2 dates jesus christ, I am not a ho ho. I even said I wasn’t, and you were all like “i know you’re not, I’m not looking for that”, but nonetheless you still send the dreaded Dick Pic. (<~ also a good blog read by yours truly) I don’t send nudes either, this body is wayyy too presh to be on the internets.
2. He says exactly what you want to hear. From the get, he says he isn’t into just hooking up and looking for something serious and he seems to have ambition and drive and then suddenly you realize he ain’t about that life and he doesn’t like labels nor does he have any motivation whatsoever. Thats fake as fuck. Someone told me not to be me when it comes to dating, and that is something I’m not willing to do because I don’t want to be played either.
3. He asks if you have Snapchat. Nuff said here.
4. Man ho ho who also happens to be bad in bad. Makes sense right? This is why he is single ladies. He also believes the hand to penis ratio. But we all know that at the end of the day, size doesn’t matter. Also expects you to give him a blowjob after your first date.
5. Wears axe body spray.
Fuckboys can be hidden in any man, big or small. Fat or fit. Young or old. Auto mechanic to karate kid to the local plumber. Watch yoself.