10. The over-sharer
This person tops the cake for TMI. You know exactly what their work schedule is, if they are in fact together with one their baby daddy this week, what they had for lunch, and the latest pair of air force ones they’ve purchased. Ain’t nobody care, bro. Consider yourself de-friended.
9. The quotefucker
Yep, I made that shit up. This person uses facebook, instagram, and twitter for quotes about love, loss, and mostly Marilyn Monroe quotes. Don’t forget lyrics too. How original. They can be in text form, attached to one’s fugly ass selfie, or in a god damn image of a sunset.
8. The spam idiot
This person usually gets their account hacked into, because, well they are an asshat. They usually accidentally click on porn, or common links that read “holy smokes! You’re not going to believe what this girl did after she ate cookies and took her cat for a walk” or “watch this guy get beat up by a naked midget” and “target is giving away $500 giftcards, just click here”
7. The foodie
The last thing I want to view when I log into instagram or facebook is your confetti cake french toast stick pepperoni embellished baklava. I can’t even. Like yeah, that shit looks yummy as fuck but I don’t have a waterproof phone case, and now there is drool all over my fucking iphone.
6. The couple that needs to get a room
Enough already, we know you’re in love. I dont need to see the god damn makeout sesh plastered all over the place, the fucking roses he got you, or the breakfast he made you in bed. Im not bitter or anything.
5. The gamer
Honestly, get off my dick with your farmville requests, angry bird, words with friends, bejeweled blitz, bullshit. I am gonna deny til the day I die.
4. That creepy guy
He likes all of your photos, leaves half creepy comments, private messages you, pokes you (hopefully not in real life) or somehow found you without any mutual friends in common.
3. That desperate as fuck single lady
Girl, you look thirsty as fuck. No wonder why you’re still single. Complaining all day long about the single life, how she cant get a date, and how she’s turning x age and will die if she doesn’t get a boyfriend within minutes. Calm down ho.
2. The troll
Nope, not the so ugly its cute plastic dolls with rhinestone bellybuttons and cotton candy hair from the 90s..I’m talking about those internet bullies who sit behind their computers or smartphone and rip people to shreds, but wouldn’t stand a chance in real life, these people are just straight up pussies.
Yup, I said it. I’m sure you do hate me, I would too. I post way too many selfies, crossfit everyday, and talk about farts. Oh and im goodlooking? Im more than a triple threat, i don’t blame you. Look how offended you just got! Haha I’m only half kidding anyways.